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1. Now, in that moment, in that moment you weren’t worried about, ‘I’m in front of all these people, this is weird,’ you were so focused on saying it right and trying to figure out what the naughty word was, that you were in the present moment. That’s how easy it is. So, it's very possible for us to manage our anxiety.

We can do it initially by greeting the anxiety when we begin to feel their signs. We can do it when we reframe the situation as a conversation and at the end I’m gonna point you to some resources that you can refer to help you find additional sources for you.

2. Check out this photo of her on a helicopter tour in Hawaii!
Check out this photo of Carol.

She was able to beat ‘er fear and give a speech to her nursing colleagues, and that was something that was a life goal. And also something she checked off her bucket list.

3. For so many of us, myself included, our days feel filled with a million small interruptions. And this is true even of our days off.

4. We all in this room are going to give and receive gifts. So, I’m hoping, you can work with somebody sitting next to you. You and your partner are going to exchange imaginary gifts.

Your partner will take the gift and open it up and will tell you what you gave them. Look in there. So, whatever you find, the person who has received it is going to say, ‘Absolutely, I’m so glad you’re happy, I got it for you because…’. So, you have to respond to whatever they say..

5. Never lose your audience. The way you keep your audience on track is by providing structure. None of you would go on a tour with me if I said, ‘Hi, my name is Matt, let’s go.’

You wanna know where you’re going, why you’re going there, how long it’s gonna take. You need to set expectations and structure does that.

6. It’s something that you can use quickly when you’re in the moment. So, it becomes, opportunity - solution - and then, the benefit.

7. It reduces the cognitive load of figuring out what you’re saying and how you’re going to say it. It means that we have within our ability the tools and the approaches to help us in spontaneous speaking situations.

Give gifts. By that I mean, see your interactions as ones of opportunity, not challenges.

8. So, when I’m in the situation where people are interrogating me, I have certain themes that I wanna get across and make sure that I do that in a way that fits the needs in the moment.

9. So, what’s critical about understanding this is that we’re gonna use the fact that your mind is either working for you for excitement or against you with fear to your advantage.

You may have heard the advice, ‘Oh, just try to calm down, think positive thought.’ It doesn’t work, does it? And there is a reason why it doesn’t work.

10. So, if I’m boarding the plane to fly back home to Michigan. An anchor thought might be a picture in my mind of my mom and I walking on the shores of Lake Michigan where I grew up.

11. If you have a conversation that you need to have with your boss, pick an anchor thought about how you feel after having that conversation, maybe it’s you picking up the phone and calling somebody that you…you love and saying, ‘Oh my gosh, it went so well!’ or you walking out of the meeting and feeling like, yeah, I survived that conversation. I feel pretty good about myself.

12. I start thinking about walking on the beach and being with my mom and my dad. And I start telling myself, ‘I’m so excited to walk on the shores of Lake Michigan, I’m so excited to see my parents.’

13. Are you more motivated by rewards? Or are you more motivated by punishment? If you are motivated by carrot, you’ve got to set up little rewards for yourself along the way. But if you’re motivated by the stick, you have to have some kind of punishment for yourself set up to make sure that you’re getting there.

14. The fear of rejection. It's terrifying for people. Because you were scared doing that thing, you were scared doing that fully thing, jumping in that goal, that dream. Somebody might say something to you. They might hate on you on the Internet.
Even though you knew those risks were really the next right actions of integrity for you. Well, for a lot of people, that’s scary.

15. Was such a brave, radical actor to partner with. And we were true partners on that movie and we loved it so much.

16. Seeing that movie, seeing Jurassic Park for the first time was one of my favorite memories. I sat with Steven with popcorn. It WAS ON. AND I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

That was amazing. I started to cry. It was so moving. Even those of us who were in it were stunned.

17. Hopefully continue to play characters I have no idea about, I’ve never even considered playing or nothing like anyone else I’ve played. And yet, there’s a knowing in there.

18. Solving these problems is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. We engage in unhealthy behaviors because of our genetics, because of brain neurotransmitters, because of environmental influences, such as peers and the media. Each of those pieces of the puzzle are not things that you and I can solve on our own.

20. Whether it’s as extraordinary as fans believe or as hollow as critics claim. Obviously, it’s all subjective in the end.

21 . The first reason that you’re locked in a cycle of defensive failures is that you think somewhere in your heart that you can’t do it.

22. And if you’re able to shift your mindset … from this belief.

23. Until some years later when my wife brought me to a workshop on willingness at the University of Washington, and I… was blown away.

So then I read the book, and then I read a lot of books on willingness, and I got trained in it, and what I learned was that willingness is part of acceptance in the Acceptance and Commitment Therapy approach to behavior change.

24. And then ending, like, by a fire with a cocktail with my family. And then, inevitably, snuggling with my, my kids.

25. For so many of us, myself included, our days feel filled with a million small interruptions. And this is true even of our days off.

19. It wasn't so much that I wanted to thoroughly explore the countries themselves, this has been done.

It was more that I wanted to thoroughly explore one aspect of myself set against the backdrop of each country, in a place that has traditionally done that one thing very well. I wanted to explore the art of pleasure in Italy, the art of devotion in India and, in Indonesia, the art of balancing the two.